Why?
by Ra4chel-the 4 is silent
Summary: "It must have been a place so dark you couldn't feel the light reaching for you through that stormy cloud..." One-shot. Based on the song by Rascal Flatts. O/C. Rated K  for mild language.


**Yes, it's another one-shot based on a country song. And yes, it is sad again. Why? Simply because i like sad country songs. :P **

**So this story is a little random, but I was listening to the song "Why" by Rascal Flatts a few days ago and I was like "Hey! This would make a good One-shot." My original plan was to tell it in Chad's point of view, but I kind of already did that with my "If I Die Young" inspired one-shot. It's a little sad that this is the second story I've written about Sonny dying...Anyway, I didn't want it to be too similar, so I decided to create an original character. Originally, he wasn't going to have a name, but after awhile, it became sort of necessary, so his name is Cameron. That's all you really need to know right now. It ends a little weirdly, but I was at my cousins' house and had nothing to do, so I figured why not write a one-shot? I'm on vacation right now and I've started a second song-inspired one-shot so hopefully I'll be able to finish it before we go home. **

**Before you read, just wanna tell you one more thing. Anywhere you see writing in italics, that's flashback. I thought it was pretty obvious anyway, but I thought I'd include that just in case. Okay, enjoy! Lyrics are at the bottom and DONT FORGET TO REVIEW! Seriously. Every single one of you! JUST DO IT! Praise, constructive criticism, whatever. Just as long as I get a review I'll be happy :P**

**K, hope you like it!**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny With a Chance or So Random or whatever the hell it is. I just don't own it, kay? But Cameron is all mine. Oh, yea! i don't own Why either.<strong>

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><p>I tried to focus on the preacher's words as he prayed, but all I could think about was the casket in front of me. Or rather, the person inside it. I'd just gotten word of Sonny's death last night when I'd received a call from Connie. It had been nearly 10 years since I'd heard from either of them, but I'd never stopped thinking of Sonny as my best friend, so the news that she was now dead was devastating. What was even more heart-breaking was the cause of death—suicide.<p>

Thinking back, it all made sense. Sonny had never seemed quite right when I'd seen her on TV. Sure, she was always smiling, but I knew her well enough to tell when she was faking. And I hadn't seen her signature Sonny smile since she'd gotten on that plane to California.

My train of thought was broken by the loud sobs coming from the person next to me. I recognized her as Tawni Hart, another one of Sonny's friends. Her husband, Nico, put his arm around her and their little girl, Jessie, buried her face in her shoulder. Beside them stood Grady Mitchell and Zora Lancaster, but apparently the rest of her Hollywood "friends" hadn't even bothered to show up. Not even her ex-husband Chad. The way I saw it, he was smart not to come. They'd been divorced and remarried six times since they'd eloped in 2012 and from what I'd heard, she'd been taking the constant break-ups and make-ups pretty hard. Rumours of eating disorders and self-harm had circulated over the past few months, but I'd never thought much of them. Now I was starting to wonder if they were more than just rumours.

The preacher ended his prayer and announced that Connie would be saying a few words now. I could tell she was trying not to cry as she walked to the front of the room and adjusted the microphone.

"Sonny was..." she began, choking up as she spoke. "The best daughter I could ever hope to have." Tears welled up in her eyes and she made no effort to wipe them away. "I-I'm sorry," she said. "I can't do this." She returned to her seat and the preacher stepped back up to the mic. I wasn't paying attention to him though. I was focused on Connie who was sobbing into Sonny's older sister, Kara's shoulder. I smiled a little, remembering how much fun Sonny and I used to have tormenting Kara before she went off to boarding school in England.

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><p>"<em>I'm gonna kill you, Sonny!" Kara screamed at us, chasing us out of her room. Sonny and I giggled as she tried to snatch the camera out of her hand. We'd just caught 11-year-old Kara playing with Connie's makeup on camera and she was not happy about it. We scurried into Sonny's bedroom, locking the door behind us.<em>

_Once we were sure Kara was gone, we settled down onto the floor and reviewed the pictures we'd taken of Kara made up like a clown, wearing Connie's high heels and a sparkling plastic tiara. _

"_She looks ridiculous," commented Sonny who was content with wearing ripped jeans, a t-shirt and Velcro-strap sneakers. "Just wait until your brother sees these." It was no secret that Kara had a thing for my thirteen-year-old brother, Greg. She was always flirting with him in front of his middle school friends, much to his dismay. The way Sonny and I saw it, it was a win-win situation. Greg was mortified to be the object of an elementary school student's affections and Kara was upset that Greg didn't reciprocate her feelings for him. Our hatred towards our older siblings was just one of many things we had in common._

"_It's not like he'll like her any less because of it," I said, chuckling. "He already hates her guts." We burst into a fit of giggles until we were rolling on the floor, gasping for air._

"_I still have to figure out who you like," Sonny said once the laughter had died down. "You promised you'd tell me if I guessed it right." I grinned mischievously._

"_You'll never guess it," I replied. "Not in a million zillion years."_

"_Is it Tasha?" she guessed. I stifled a laugh._

"_No! She's gross!"_

"_Tegan?"_

"_Nope."_

"_Rebecca? Stacey? Emily?"_

"_No. No. Heck no!" Sonny rolled her eyes._

"_Does she go to our school?" she asked._

"_Yes," I replied._

"_But I've guessed everybody," she whined. "Just tell me, Cammie. Pleeeaasssse." I cringed at the horrible nickname and shook my head._

"_You haven't guessed everyone yet," I insisted, attempting to wink, a skill I'd just recently learned._

"_I'll tell you who I like," she offered. _

"_You like someone?" I asked. "Who?"_

"_Will you tell me who you like?" she asked me._

"_Maybe."_

"_Ugh," she groaned. "Whatever. I don't care if you know. I like Steve."_

"_Steve Bevins?" I asked. "The nose-picker?"_

"_That was one time in kindergarten," she replied. "And he's cute. Every girl in our class likes him."_

"_Then what makes you think he'll choose you?" I asked._

"_Because I love him the most," she answered. _

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><p>By the time my flashback was over, my smile had turned back into a frown. Sonny <em>had <em>ended up dating Steve that year. And I'd never had the guts to tell her that she was the one I liked. To this day, I still hated Steve who now owned a car wash a few miles from the park Sonny and I used to go to when we were kids. Sonny and I had drifted apart that year, almost ruining our friendship. Fortunately, Sonny had realized he was a jerk when she caught him holding hands another girl and broke it off. I'd never quite forgiven him for breaking her heart though.

I glanced around the room, checking to see if Steve was here. I spotted him standing in the corner, hitting on a strawberry-blonde dressed in a skimpy black halter dress. I guess once a jerk, always a jerk. He'd even gone as far as to try and sabotage my baseball team by tripping our best player back in high school. He succeeded in spraining his ankle, but thankfully, Sonny had come to cheer me on and offered to step in for him.

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><p>"<em>Don't choke, Cameron," Steve Bevins shouted from the outfield as I stepped up to home plate. It was the bottom of the ninth and we were down by one. I don't know why he was bothering trying to psych me out. It's not like we had a chance with Tanner on the sidelines anyway. <em>

_The pitcher threw me a fast ball and I swung too early. Steve laughed and rolled his eyes at me. "You're pathetic, Cameron!" I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to go over there and punch him in the face. _

"_Strike one!" shouted the ump. I could feel my grip on the bat slipping. My hands tended to sweat when I got nervous. The next pitch flew towards me and I swung, just missing it again._

"_Strike two!" The pitcher got ready to throw the ball and I closed my eyes. Maybe I'd get lucky. I swung my bat and seconds later heard the thud of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt. Steve and his team burst out laughing as I walked back to my seat dejectedly. One more out and the game would be over. _

"_Nice job, Cameron," one of my team mates sneered. "Now we have to let the girl play." Sonny scowled at him and I handed her my lucky bat which, so far, hadn't been very lucky today. _

"_You can do it, Sonny," I whispered as she passed me. She stepped up to the plate and got ready for the first pitch. I closed my eyes, too nervous to see what would happen._

"_Ball one!" the umpire shouted. I breathed a sigh of relief. Sonny was smart enough not to swing at just anything. Unfortunately, you couldn't say the same for me._

"_Strike one!" he shouted as another ball flew past Sonny. I groaned. _

"_Come on, Sonny," I murmured. The pitcher threw the ball towards Sonny and I heard the unmistakable sound of a bat and a ball colliding. The ball sailed through the air towards Steve as Sonny ran for first and another of my team mates named Jason sprinted towards home plate. For a second it looked like it would be a pop fly, but then Steve tripped over his untied shoelaces and fell face first onto the grass._

"_Karma's a bitch," I said, smiling. Steve crawled along the field, reaching for the ball and trying to throw it to home plate before Jason reached it. It landed a few feet away from him and he groaned. Flopping back down onto the ground. Jason slid onto home plate as Sonny rounded first. A player from the other team picked up the ball and tossed it to the second-baseman. It bounced off his glove and Sonny kept running for third as he tried to pick it up. The second-baseman finally recovered the ball and tossed it to the third-baseman, a second too late. Sonny kept running towards home plate as the third-baseman got ready to throw the ball._

"_What is she doing?" Jason exclaimed. "She should have stayed on third! I knew it was a bad idea to let a girl play!" _

"_She knows what she's doing," I said, not sure whether I was trying to reassure him or myself. In all honesty, I was 90% sure this was the end of the inning. To my surprise, the ball landed three feet away from home plate. Sonny picked up speed as the catcher recovered the ball and hurried back to home plate. They collided as Sonny slid onto the plate and the catcher dove for it. A cloud of dust obscured my view for a second, but when it cleared up, it was apparent who the winner was. Sonny's foot rested directly on the plate while the catcher's hand was just millimetres away._

"_Safe!" the umpire shouted! Our team started cheering while the other team sheepishly returned to their coach._

"_Dumb slut," I heard Steve mutter, kicking the grass. I scowled and chased him off the field._

"_What do you want, Cameron?" he asked, unlocking his rusty pickup truck. I didn't say anything. I just punched him. _

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><p>To this day, that was the best memory I had of Steve. Seeing him sprawled across the hood of his truck, blood dripping from his nose. Does that make me a sadist? Maybe. But I'm okay with that. By now, Steve had realized I'd been staring at him and was shooting me a confused look. I thought about giving him the finger, but decided it would be disrespectful to Sonny. Despite the fact that Steve had hurt her back when we were kids, she'd never approved of my grudge against him. I'd purposely not told her about punching Steve after the game because I didn't want to kill her good mood. It was worth it though. He never called her a dumb slut again.<p>

"Thank you all for coming to pay your respects to Sonny," the preacher said. I turned around to face him, feeling a little guilty about zoning out for most of the funeral. "There are refreshements in the main hall. If you wish to attend the burial, it will be at Oakdale Cemetery on Forest Road in an hour. Everyone is welcome." People started standing up and heading out into the hall. I followed them, but my mind was elsewhere. I was still thinking back on my life with Sonny. The day she'd left for Hollywood had been the worst day of my life up until now. I'd tried to be happy that her dreams were coming true. But at the same time, I couldn't help wondering what was going to happen to my dreams with her gone.

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><p>"<em>Maybe this is a mistake," Sonny said rolling her mouse over the purchase button on the plane ticket website. "What if I don't fit in in Hollywood?"<em>

"_You'll fit in fine," I assured her halfheartedly. _

"_But what if nobody likes me on So Random?" she asked. "What if they fire me? I don't think I could take it."_

"_Sonny, don't be ridiculous," I said. "They're gonna love you just as much as I do."_

"_Maybe..." she answered, not sounding convinced. "But I'm still not quite sure California is for me. What do you think Cameron? Should I stay?" I sighed. Nothing would make me happier than having her stay with me, but I couldn't tell her to give up on her dreams. All I'd ever heard her talk about was leaving Wisconsin to pursue a career in show business. I couldn't stand in the way of that._

"_You should go," I told her, half-hoping she'd refuse to listen to me._

"_Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "Here goes nothing." She clicked purchase and the transaction went through. _

"_Hollywood, here I come," She smiled happily and I frowned. _

"_What's wrong?" she asked._

"_Nothing," I lied. _

"_Did you want me to stay or something?" she asked._

"_Of course not," I answered. "Who am I to stop you from following your dreams?" Sonny wrapped her arms around me in a big bear hug._

"_Thank you, Cameron," she said. "You're the best friend I've ever had." _

"_Yea, no problem," I answered, forcing a smile. Inside, my heart was breaking. Sonny was leaving Wisconsin for good and I still hadn't told her that it was her I liked back in fourth grade. Or that like had grown into love. I left town that night to stay with my cousins in Michigan. I couldn't bear to tell her goodbye. That day was the last time I ever saw her._

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><p>I stared down at the plate of assorted fruits and cheeses I'd absently picked out while I'd been day-dreaming. I knew I should be starving, seeing as I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday, but I couldn't bring myself to eat anything. I sat down in an empty seat beside Sonny's friend Zora. I vaguely remember her asking me how I knew Sonny, but I was too numb to reply. People came and went and I suddenly became aware that I was going to miss the burial if I didn't hurry. I left the building and got into my car, not sure if I should be driving in my condition.<p>

I managed to get to the cemetery in one piece where a group of people were gathered around the casket. As if in a bad drama, the sky was grey and it was just starting to rain. I got out of my car and walked over to where everyone was standing.

"I didn't know Sonny personally," the preacher was saying. "But one thing I do know is that she was a very talented actress and singer. I'm sure she will be missed by all her friends and relatives as well as her fans." I looked around the cemetery, suddenly aware of the lack of fans and reporters. That must have been why they came back to Wisconsin for the funeral. Right now, Sonny's suicide was still unconfirmed so it was best they had managed to get her home for a private funeral before the Munroes were being mobbed by reporters and obsessed fans were driving to West Appleton to see Sonny's grave. Sonny would have wanted a small funeral. Although there was one person who wasn't present she definitely would have wanted there.

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><p>"<em>Is this some kind of joke, Sonny?" I said into my phone. I looked down at the wedding invitation I'd received in the mail the other day and shook my head. "Chad Dylan Cooper? You hadn't even been in Hollywood two weeks before calling me to complain about what a jerk-throb he is, whatever that means."<em>

"_Things are different now," she insisted. "_He's _different now."_

"_I just don't want you to rush into something you're not sure about," I said. "Why don't you come back to Wisconsin for a couple weeks so you can make sure this is really what you want."_

"_I know what I want, Cameron," she said. "I'm not a child anymore."_

"_You're only 21," I reminded her. "That's barely older than a teenager. And haven't you guys broken up like eight times?"_

"_Seven," she corrected me. I rolled my eyes._

"_Don't you roll your eyes at me, Cameron," Sonny said. How the hell did she do that?_

"_I think you're making a terrible mistake, ," I told her._

"_I know what I'm doing, Cammie," she said. I sighed. It had been years since I'd heard that nickname. As much as I hated to admit it, I had missed it these past few years she'd been away._

"_Sonny, please," I begged, out of arguments. _

"_Give me one good reason why I shouldn't marry him," she said. _

"_I..." I began. "I...never mind." What was I supposed to tell her? The truth? The truth was, every night I prayed that one day she would come back to Wisconsin. That she would come to love me as much as she loved me. That we'd get married and raise a family together. That was all I'd ever wanted. Why wasn't I allowed to have my dreams come true? How was that fair? Sonny had everything she'd ever wanted. And now Chad Dylan Cooper was living my dream. _

"_Cameron, I..." she began, but I didn't hear the rest. I'd already hung up. I didn't want Sonny to hear me cry._

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><p>As they lowered Sonny's casket into the ground, I realized there were tears in my eyes. This time, I made no effort to hide them. I didn't have any reason too. Everything I'd ever wanted was gone. I couldn't help but wonder if things would have worked out better for both of us if I'd told her to stay in Wisconsin. Would she still have committed suicide? Would we be together? There was no way of knowing.<p>

I sat down on the damp grass and buried my face in my hands and sobbed. When I looked up, I was alone. I stood up and walked over to where she was buried.

"Why did you do it, Sonny?" I whispered, shakily. "Why?" I laid down in the mud, not caring whether I got dirty or what anyone would think if they saw me. "Was there anything I could have said or done to change your mind? Would you still have done it if you knew how much I loved you?" I heard the sound of footsteps behind me and turned around.

"You?" I said, looking up at the person in front of me. "What are you doing here?"

"I would have been here earlier, but my flight was delayed," Chad answered. I wanted to be mad at him, but I was too sad to be angry. "How was the funeral?" he continued.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I was too busy taking a trip down memory lane to pay any attention."

"I've been doing the same thing all day," he confessed. "Wondering what went wrong, what I could have done to stop her."

"I guess there isn't really anything we could do," I said. "I just wish I'd gotten the chance to tell her how I feel about her...how I've always felt about her."

"She loved you too, you know," he said.

"What?" I exclaimed. "How would you know?"

"Just the way she talked about you," he answered. "She loved me too, but I knew we would never have what you guys had. I guess that's why we never really worked out as a couple. Jealousy can be quite the marriage-killer."

"You were jealous of me?" I asked, unable to believe my ears. "I was always sort of jealous of you," I confessed. "Well, the times you were together at least. Every time you guys got divorced, I threw a party to celebrate."

"Gee, thanks," he said, laughing humourlessly. We were both silent for a minute.

"So what now?" he asked.

"I guess we move on," I answered. "As much as I hate to say it, there's not much else we can do."

"Think we'll ever be over her?"

"Not a chance," I said. "But at least one good thing came of this."

"What?" Chad asked. I smirked.

"I can stop photo-shopping moustaches onto your face in my spare time and get a life." Chad chuckled and we headed off towards our vehicles.

"So how do I look with a moustache?" he asked. "Just out of curiosity."

"Not bad actually," I answerd.

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><p><strong>So...yea, it got a little random in the end, but I didn't really want you all hating Chad, so I tried to make him a little bit less of a...what's the word...I'm gonna quote my best friend's boyfriend's hot younger brother and say "Tit Wagon". LOl. So...please review! It will make me so very happy! <strong>

**Peace out suckahs!**

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><p>It must have been a place so dark you couldn't feel the light<p>

Reaching for you through that stormy cloud

Now here we all our gathered in our little home town

This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh, why?

That's what I keep asking

Was there anything

I could have said or done

Oh, I

Had no clue you were masking

A troubled soul

God only knows

What went wrong

And why

You would leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now in my mind I keep you frozen

As a seventeen-year-old

Rounding third to score the winning run

You always played with passion

No matter what the game

When you took the stage you shined just like the sun

Oh, why?

That's what I keep asking

Was there anything

I could have said or done

Oh, I

Had no clue you were masking

A troubled soul

God only knows

What went wrong

And why

You would leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now oak trees are swaying

In the early autumn breeze

The golden sun is shining on my face

The tangled thoughts I hear

A mockingbird sing

This old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh, why

There's no comprehending

And who am I to try to judge or explain

Oh, but I

Do have one burning question

Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?

They were wrong

They lied

And now you're gone

And we cry

Cuz it's not like you

To walk away in the middle of a song

Your beautiful song

Your absolutely beautiful song


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